Quality Assessment for the Burger Assay Test, Rensselaer County NY and Bennington County VT

For some time now, I and a friend of mine (hereafter referred to as "companion"), have made the effort to discover la mejor hamburguesa de la zona. La zona in our case is pretty much Rensselaer County in NY and the Bennington, VT area. We attempted to grade an establishment as well as the entree using an arbitrary scoring of 1 through 10, 10 being la mejor. The categories graded included the following:
Juiciness, Size, Sides, Price, Char-ability, Meat Type, Hand-ability, As Ordered, Server Issues, Taste, Ambiance and Parking Lot. Therefore there is the possibility of achieving a perfect score of 120. Some details need noting:

• If the burger is labeled as 1/2 lb we assess the relative weight comparing said burger to a variety of objects, comparing for weight, ie a bottle of Pale Ale, and or a ketchup bottle whichever happens to be at hand. Usually Pale Ale.
• A burger joint is allowably inelegant. Points will be added for alcoholic stills present in the front or rear. A burger joint's kissing cousin is the barbecue; barbecues including pig roasts will bias the reviewer to the tradesman's benefit.
• Nota Bene: Due to the possibility of compromise and a server's possible prejudice against those of a metrosexual nature (within the burger business these "Fancies" are sometimes given the boot), the reviewer and his faithful companion have gone to some length to appear as common and indeed slovenly as possible. The term is, I believe, "lumbersexual." We are confident that we are as close to the actual denizens of the area as is deemed prudent.

The actual grading system is recorded under a spreadsheet titled, "Quality Assessment for the Burger Assay Test, Rensselaer County NY and Bennington County VT" but since this is far too large for an easy viewing within this blog I will reduce it to an average score for each establishment. It should be understood though, that a burger joint does not receive additional points for cleanliness, elegance, or general posh-ness. Rather the opposite is true. One expects a burger joint to be somewhat "at ease," disorderly, and if sawdust or some such is found on the floor, well, one might expect one's interest to be piqued. An ideal burger, one can assume, is to be found in a secluded camp with a distillery out the back porch, serving a burger large enough for two hands, delivered as ordered (medium rare for myself, rare-plus for companion) with a side of deliciousness, by a comely, agreeable waitress...and cheaply...oh, and being serenaded by a blue-grass band.

Though we never quite fit all the above within one meal we did come pretty close. Among the establishments we have visited thus far are the following: Man of Kent (Hoosick); Kevin's Sports Pub (North Bennington); Foggy Notions, otherwise known to locals as The Bog (Cambridge); Potter's Tavern (Brunswick); Brunswick Barbecue (Brunswick); The River Street Pub (Troy). We will be adding others as we discover them.